Faith

Faith.

Matthew 17:19 says, "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

Today I stepped out in faith and it may have been the scariest step I have ever taken in my entire life. My husband and I have felt God calling me to stay home with our kids and not to go back to work for a few weeks now. After looking at the finances, we both agreed it would be a VERY hard step to take, but we KNEW without a doubt that this is what God wanted for us. 

So today I said goodbye, to a group of people and a place, that have been a second home for me for the last 10.5 years. Is it scary? You bet! Do I trust that God has our future in his hands? Yes! Well, most days.

As I step out in FAITH, I look at this verse and know that as long as I have FAITH as big as a mustard seed, (Do you know how LITTLE that seed is!?), that my family will be taken care of. I mean, with faith that small I could MOVE a MOUNTAIN! That seems IMPOSSIBLE, but with my FAITH in God, he will make it possible.  He will take our small step of FAITH and honor it.  He will make everything we feel is impossible, possible!

Postpartum

Postpartum. This is the stage of life I am currently in.  Two years ago I would have said I was a full-time working mom of three.  Last year I would have said I am a runner mom.  Now, all I can say is I am postpartum.

Postpartum=EMOTIONS! Tidal waves of emotions coursing through my body.

I am overwhelmed with emotions. These emotions fluctuate and flow at any given moment.  My kids, my job, my desire to stay home, my body, my lack of running, nursing, and my house all contribute to the overwhelming storm of emotion that takes over my entire being.  Today I sent the three older kids to school and set out for a jog with the baby. Only the jogging stroller was in the back of the van. So I put the baby in the regular stroller, tears running down my face, and set out, instead, for a two mile walk.  

 Later in the day as I was overwhelmed with things I needed to get done, I received an email alerting me to the fact the I did not get the job I was counting on, that would allow me to stay home with my kids. Set lose the storm.   With tears streaming down my face I cried out to God for a life boat, something to raise me above the tumultuous sea of emotions that were ravaging my soul. 

 It was then I heard Jeremiah 29:11 repeating in my head,  “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Today this will be my life boat.  This will be what holds my head above the waves, as they threatened to overpower me and drag me to the depths. God is not asking me to figure it all out today.  He holds the plans for my life and he is in control.

Today I will cling to HIS lifeboat with everything inside of me.